It's been a while since I last posted - almost 3 months.
It's been a chaotic, stressful and very sad 3 months.
Firstly, Gabriel's long-time nanny up and left us - no explanation. Then it was the daunting process of finding a new carer for Gabriel, which was quite intense (as you can imagine, we cannot hire a regular nanny for our precious angel). I honestly thought I had experienced stress on a whole new level.
That was until Gabriel's beloved Nanna (my Mom) was diagnosed, in October 2015, with an aggressive, terminal form of thyroid cancer, which had spread to her lungs. So between October until now, we had travelled between my home city and Cape Town, helping as much as possible. She underwent the most aggressive course of radium treatment and remained positive and inspiring, throughout.
The last two weeks were the toughest. Nanna was rushed to ICU with pneumonia and for a week I watched her suffer. And I prayed and I pleaded and I bargained with the big man in the sky, until Nanna communicated with me that she wanted to go.
And so I let go.
On the 11th January 2016, as I held her hand, Gabriel's Nanna was called to her heavenly home.
That afternoon, I told Gabriel why I was so sad and for the rest of the day he was so miserable, so unhappy. On Thursday morning, the morning of the Memorial Service, Gabriel was near impossible to calm down. I decided that he and G-Dad should stay at home as I want him to remember Nanna for the remarkable, happy, generous, loving woman she was.
I miss her more than words here could ever explain or convey. I miss our daily phone calls and our weekly Skype sessions. Sometimes the wave of sorrow is all encompassing and I feel that I will drown in it. But then I remember and take comfort in knowing that one day we will be together again.
Finally, to end off, I have to share this little fact about my Mom - she had a wonderful talent for writing poetry. The most thoughtful, beautifully written poetry. She would often write a poem about someone for their birthday or any other special occasion. So, in loving memory of my beautiful Mom and Nanna, I wrote the following poem which I read at her memorial :
For My Mumsie
14th January 2016
On the 14th of December, 1944
God sent his best angel to our front door.
A kind daughter and sister was born
With a light so bright; a Christian, reborn.
Into a refined and bright woman she grew
Caring for all, whether old friends or new.
A devoted, loving, caring mother and wife
Who sacrificed so much so we could live a good life.
Always giving and sharing what little she had
Touching so many lives and uplifting the sad.
The Barefoot Contessa of vetkoeks and other confections
And to her grandson, Gabriel, the best Nanna; perfection.
So, no, not an angel but an Archangel was she
Her selflessness to be remembered for all eternity.
And although we are now, sadly, so far apart
Mumsie, you will, forever, be in our hearts.